70594's blog: "The random babbelings of an 18 year old soul"

i wish i still did that for you.

times a lot. i just started to cry out of nowhere from a stupid cartoon character those stupid emo-bastards why do they have to be so much like me? today is supposed to be a great day and its starting out the first 2 hours being far from one. goodnight.

i cant believe how much college is like fucking highschool... everyone is just going around backstabbing everybody and talking about everyone and throwing their digs in places and pretending to be people they arent... and i just sit here and try to be nice to people (minus of course my stupid little teasing here and there to like caitie and joe and what not, but thast just me messing around- especially since theyre like two of my favorite people in class), all to hear things that i dont like to hear-- people talking about me, people making assumptions, people pretending to be friends with me who really arent. Its just like my 4 years in highschool- no, even MIDDLESCHOOL, all over again. I dont know what i want to do anymore. I want to go to community college and live at home and not deal with people backstabbing and hating one another- why does everyone have to be so angry and mad and cause drama ? i dont think ill ever understand it. I have to sign up for a photoblock monday for the second semester- i dont even want to do that. i dont want to end up with people who dont want me in their block and who will just be angry and all like "oh howd this bitch end up in here with us AGAIN".... i feel like i just bug everyone in class because i dont know what i'm doing so i try to ask the people who do- and now im going to have to go into a new semester with a whole new set of people to explain to about why i dont know what to do in the darkroom, how to use my light meter, or what fstop to use when i take a shot..... its going to wreck me to do this all over again.... to try and keep confidence when i dont know anything, and have to make friends in class all over again- meanwhile im sure everyone else would be like "phew at least shes not here to bug me anymore"......... :-(. i'm so sick of drama, im so sick of everyone just being angry, and im even more sick of the fact that no one in my life can ever just be fucking HONEST with me... is it so hard? tell me you dont like me, tell me we arent friends, tell me you love me to death- just MEAN IT, so i dont have to spend time secondguessing myself and wondering if im allowed to joke around with you or how youll take it, or if i say something to you will you go back and tell people or can i just have a normal fucking convorsation with you? god, all i want is a friend i can trust. mike akilah mel where are you when i really need you most. oh yeah- 6 + hours away. :'(

1. Do you still talk to the first person you kissed? hah nah. he doesnt wanna speak to me... id talk to him tho 2. Have you ever seen your best friend naked? i walked in on akilah changing once lol. and mike, just a towel hahah. 3. What did you do when you weren't in school in the 2nd grade? hang out most likely 4. What is the best thing about your job? not having one <3 5. Pro choice or pro life? pro choice 6. Are you for or against same sex marriage? for 7. Did you vote for Bush? no but i wouldve. he was in the middle of something, you cant interrupt and just change the person incharge in teh middle of a huge thing like this. 8. Where are you going on your next vacation? LA apparently <333 10. Are most of your friends guys or girls? guys slightly more than girls 11. Do you own any furniture from IKEA? no way lol. they dont give you hardware 12. Last book you read? ummmmm.... Fun House- a good graphic novel, definately. 13. If you could have one super power what would it be? ability to tell when people were lying 14. Where have you lived most of your life? bay shore for 95% of it 15. What was the last conversation you had about? chris, currently, about digital midterm 16. Where do you see yourself in four years? starving artist in nyc most likely 17. What's your favorite smell? boy. i know it sounds random, but they always smell good. 18. What is your favorite sound? the shutter in my camera.... hehe- yeah im lame. 19. Are you moody? sorta 20. Favorite movie of all time? The Breakfast Club is pretty fantastic 21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your classmate? hahah......hahahahahhahahahha... 22. ?1?!?!WTF? ...riiiight 23. Have you ever played Spin the bottle? oh man, yeah definately. 25. Have you ever liked someone and not told them? frequently 26. Have you ever gone camping? wayyyy back when i was little 27. Have you ever had a crush on your brother's friend? ewwwwwwww hes like 15 lol 28. Have you ever gone to a nude beach? nuhuh 29. Have you ever gone streaking? nopers 31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? sorta 32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? hahah frequently 33. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober person? yeah just this weekend. 34. Do you believe in love yes i believe i do. 35. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend? yeah 36. Have you ever lied to your parents? um....... believe it or not, not really- i mean not about anything huge 37. Have you ever been out of the US? Where? nope 38. Have you ever thrown up from working out? uh... No. 39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat? no but it was definately bad enough to cry 40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food ? ughh no i think id throw up 41. Last song you listened to? Brand New, some random song i dont remember. and currently Jim Breuer 42. Have you ever spied on someone? hahah yeah 43. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers? no definately NOT 44. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons? spoon a lawn im sure. hahaha <3 melanie <3 45. Who was the last person you called? my mom -_- 46. When was the last time you slept for more than 12 hours? oh man no idea 47. Have you ever been arrested? hah ha hah not yet 48. Most embarassing CD you own? Toge+her 49. Have you ever stolen anything? yeah. im pretty sure i didnt pay for my basken robins last night lol 50. Have you ever had egg nog? yea. . . icky

that ive been in a shitty mood and crying- and justin has cheered me up ^_^ amazing how friends you just met are there for you. today was a pretty rotten day, this whole weekend was actually fun but with an underlying theme of suck-ness.... i just noticed this weekend that i've grown up and all my friends havent. I wish i could still enjoy sitting around getting shitfaced, pigging out on junkfood and gossiping- but theres just something about it now that is a total turn off. I tried so hard to have fun and i just couldn't do it. i mean i loved bullshitting with aly all weekend about stuff and catching up with MSP on all his life and him hearing about my whole chris-saga (since he seems to be the last person on earth to ever know anything about anyone, lol) but i didnt feel a need at melanies to get totally bombed and unable to stand, they took out digicams and started screaming BIFFLES and i realized right there that we werent in highschool anymore, that this isnt what i was interested in. I mean i will glady come out and party and chill but it is definately not the same. while we were on our way to the hookah bar last night i passed all these bistro outdoursy type places and wanted to just sit and drink a glass of wine and bullshit with my friends and just kick back. it was such a weird 'temptation'.. thats not the right word, but im not a thesaurus- too exhausted right now. I really just wanted to do that, but i dont have friends that are interested in those kinds of things.... i guess sometimes im too 'grown up' for my own good?.. god idk whats wrong with me honestly, theres so much going through my mind right now. Up until about an hour ago when justin came and got me i had been feeling stupid all day- for some reason i half expected that chris and i would be back togeather by now, like some magic something would happen and hed be over courney realize he missed me and wed be back togeather again... but instead hes over courtney and with a girl who he likes back on the island- i guess its convenient for him, and least he can see her every day.... i'm sure its no fun to have a girl you can only see on weekends. I cried but only for afew minutes because i just wasnt expecting him to be over me so soon, but i guess thats just because i get attached to people and let my heart get involved too easily- and i forget that thats not the way boys work. Mel made me go out and get some food after this whole thing because she was starving and we ended up going and getting food and like 10 bags of applecrisp apples, because they are amazing, and peopel watching since coby is NOTHING like FIT, and the people are so much different here i thought shed get a kick out of it- and she did. and then eventually i had to put her on the train and i went back to my room and sat down and moped... because all my friends were back at college and i wouldnt see any of them again till thanksgiving, and i wouldnt be seeing akilah again till christmas. and i know friday is goingto suck even though its my 18th birthday because they'll be no one around, i'm not getting my tongue pierced now because chris seems kinda sketchy on still taking me (which makes sense now since im sure his girlfriend wouldnt want him spending the day with me getting pierced, even though we are supposed to still be friends) and i know my parents wont take me. I had so much stuff planned for the next few weeks and most of them were with him, so i'm gradually trying to like re-schedule everything up till the second week of november since we had plans for like, my birthday, a halloween party, photo expo and his birthday, basically he shottied me for thos weekends since, and now i just kinda have empty spaces where i didnt make plans that i thought i already had filled.. my photoexpo location however has been filled since Stuff A Bus is that day- and i was going to go see chris as well for his birthday and see if he wanted to grab pizza or some panera but im sure that wont be happening now, so stuff a bus it is, or i might just stay home that weekend and see if caitie or the boys are going to photo and if theyd mind me tagging along... who knows? and of course, i can hang out with justin among 1000 other thigns i have to do for the next 3 weeks... i have a leadership conference NEXT weekend which hopefully is FUN, even though ill be missing a class for it and i hope he doesnt get mad about that. And thursday is MoMA which i think i will enjoy- even tho joe is being lame and NOT going because hell be in like san diego or osmething like that... honestly theres just so much drama going on around school and in my life right now and i just want to curl up into a ball on my bed, turn off all the lights and sleep.... i didnt want to do anything today, theres just too much on my mind.... but i am glad justin dragged me out because i wouldnt have accomplished much sitting around wondering when i got so lame and why i suck so much- so i guess its a good thing.

1. Who is the last person you held hands with? Chris..... 2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive? good lord no, id feel sad for my country haha 3. Do you sleep with the TV on? i enjoy total darkness 4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton? GROSSSSSSSSS, i hate milk 5. What did you do today? woke up dont think i showered......nope. checked mail bought film ate lunch went to CG111 picked up photos went to lighting ate lunch/dinner whatever came home adn went on the computer 6. Do you like somebody right now? like a LOT 7. How fast can you type? ive measured at 90ish wpm but average id say 7o to 8o 8. Are you afraid of the dark? only if im outside walking the streets alone 9. Eye color? hazel <33 10. Who can you always turn to? Mike and Akilah 11. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower? not in months 12. Do you knock on wood? yeah as an expression tho, not because i believe it 13. Are you drinking anything right now? No :-/ 14. Do you have good vision? No way 15. Can you hoola hoop? sorta 16. Are you good at keeping secrets? other peoples yes, but going a long time w/o telling someone something about me- NOPE 17. What do you want for Christmas? LA Trip which i think i might just buy on my own 18. Are you OCD? yeah 19. Do you talk in your sleep? I don't think so 20. Who makes you laugh the most? ALY!!!, Caitie, Hosking, Tim, Steve, Joe, Tom, Chris becuse he's so slow <3 21. Have you ever flown a kite? Yeees hahah thats such a hard thing to do 22. When was the last time you went swimming and where? a LONG time ago... cast party??? brian hoernings house, august? 23. Do you consider yourself successful? im one of 75 photomajors in one of the best artschools in the country, so id say so 24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell? about 80? 25. Have you ever asked for a horse? No way 26. Plans for today? its 730...i lack plans.... maybe project runway wit denise and sandy and justin? 27. WHATS YOUR MiDDLE NAME? AND WHY? Marie. becase my parents said so lol 28. Missing someone now? Yeah by a lot 29. When was the last time you told someone 'I love you'? To their face? 2 years ago when i told derek i loved him. 30. What was the last sport you played? Shot-Put 31. How are you feeling today? bored 32. Are you black? on the inside <333 lol 33. Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school? never 34. What are you looking forward to? this weekend when all my friends will be at my house!! !<333333333 and next weekend when chris takes me for my tongue ring <33 35. Have you ever crawled through a window? yeahh! omg at andreas house afew years ago to sneak in hahah we threw cheese at jasmine so she wouldn't bark 37. Have you ever eaten dog food? No! 38. Can you handle the truth? i cant always HANDLE it, but i most definately PREFER it 39. Do you like green eggs and ham? I DO NOT LIKE THEM SAM I AM! haha 40. What are 3 things you always take with you to places? My bank card, my ID and of course- My camera/film/memory card 41. Any cool scars? not really..... 42. Do you like or have a crush on anyone? Yeah but idk if crush is the word 43. How many kids do you plan on having? 2 if any 44. What do you do when no one is watching? the same thing as when people are watching 45. How often do you talk on the phone? all the time, usually to kat chris and/or mike 46. Do you talk to yourself? not so much myself as my computer haha 47. Is there something you want that you can't have? someONE..... 48. Three things about the opposite sex that you first notice? height, hair, eyes 49. Who are you thinking about right now? Who the fuck else? CHRIS. damn kid, cant get him outta my head 50. Who did you last hug? um...... oh haha TIM! i saw him today and was excited he wasnt dead, he was not so excited for me to hug him lol 52. Where is your phone? on my desk 53. What was the last thing you ate? APPLESSSSS omg. like 3 bags of dehydrated CRISPY APPLES hahah 54. Favorite Color? Pink, and some purple (like my hair ^_^ ) 55. Last movie watched? Garden State, which i never finished remindedly enough 56. What song do you currently hear? RENT... who do you think you are? barging in on me and my guitar??? lol 57. What do you want? answer not available..... lol 58. Would you ever date anyone on your friends list? Yeah. :-/ 59. What TV Show are you watching? None.... project runway at 10 tho 60. What is your cell phone number? 631,766,6757 *RED* Closest red thing to you? im laying on my red comforter Last thing to make you angry? chris, my mom, my dad....all at basically the same time Are you a fan of romance? of course *ORANGE* Closest orange thing to you? NO idea... im sure my goldfish pen is around... OH WAIT- orange bra straps <33333 Do you like to burn things? Yes <33333333 Dress up for halloween? its fun. but i dont care fi i dont Are you usually a warm-hearted person? yes. i mean im a bitch jokingly but im such a good person, ask anyone. Do you have anything against ginger hair? no... Are you usually full of energy? yeah *YELLOW* Closest yellow thing to you? ummmmmm......... no idea. adn far too lazy to get up and look...ill go with the yellow thumbtack holding up the russian moose named natasha hahah <333 aly Happiest time of your life? September 8th to September 23rd :-( Favorite holiday? holidays are overrated.............long story. What makes you smile? my friend. Aly, hahah. <3 i cant NOT smile when shes around ^_^ Are you a coward? No.... cowardice is a silly trait Do you burn or tan? neither... i just get yelled at by my skin and get itchy, never color.... never sunburn....just AHHHHHH *GREEN* Closest green thing to you? i dont freaking knowwwwww Do you care about the environment? id like to LIVE, so sure why not Are you jealous of anyone right now? Sara Are you a lucky person? definately <3 Do you always want what you can't have? usually :-/ i wonder sometimes if its intentional on a subconcious level Do you like being outdoors? not in the summer or winter...fall, definately <3 *BLUE* Closest blue thing to you? my shirt and pants ^_^ Are you good at calming people down? yes usually Do you like the sea? yeah but im from long island- so this should be under teh GREEN category, hahah. Last thing to make you cry? Chris. Are you a logical thinker? yeah and i HATE it.... im always the 'mom' Can you sleep easily? Not around here, freakin loud ass kids infront of the building. *PURPLE* Closest Purple thing to you? MY HAIR! ^_^ <333 Like being treated to expensive things? yeah on occasion... but i usually just fee bad Do you like mysterious things? theyre the best kind Favorite type of chocolate? dark <333 Ever met anyone in royalty? dont think so lol Are you creative? 75 photomajors...............what do you think? *PINK* Closest pink thing to you? oh man, i dont have like ANYTHING pink in my room, im so sad.... oh wait i lie- my huge fluffy bod pillow next to me!! <33 Do you like sweet foods? I prefer fruit Like play-fighting? :-) love it Are you sensitive? in EVERY aspect. Do you like punk music? i like all music *WHITE* my pale ass skin Would you say you're innocent? No i definately would not. Always try to keep the peace? I try to keep the peace or stay out of the drama How do you imagine your wedding, if you want one? marrying the person i love. anything else couldnt matter less Do you like to play in the snow? i fucking HATE teh snow.... more than an inch and im PISSED (unless its enuf 2 cancel school) Are you afraid of going to the doctors or dentists? Dentists scare the shit out of me...even tho i ahve good teeth, just always HURTS *BLACK* Closest black thing to you? your mom. haha srry. um.... my canopy <3 Ever enjoy hurting people? thats sick. who would enjoy hurting another human being? Are you sophisticated or silly? Both <3 Afraid of death? everyone dies. i just want to die in a good situation, not like- hit by a car... maybe, unless its because i was trying to get a REALLY GOOD SHOT... preferably id like to die doing something i loved Would you like to go to space? oh definately. i wana take pictures of THAT <3 i SO thought of this the other night watching Armageddon Do you have a lot of secrets? No, at least one person knows my secrets What is your favorite color? Pink Does the color you wear affect your mood? yeah it can What color would you think best symbolizes your personality? HOT Pink because its funky and loud and different 1* First grade teacher's name: Mrs Payne 2* Last person you said I love you to: derek. but hes not the last person i said it ABOUT 3* Last song you sang: far too many to remember the LAST one 4* Last person you hugged: tim, again, as i said earlier... i was glad he wasnt dead lol 5* Last thing you laughed at: probably joe hahah. 6* Last time you said I dont remember: somewhere in this survey 7* Last time you cried: yesterday 9* What color socks are you wearing: lack thereof 10* What's under your bed: draws until i raise my bed 11* What time did you wake up today: 1110 12* Current taste: apple 13* Current hair: down curly and frizzy as sin 14* Current annoyance: ....females. -_- 15* Current longing: oh lets skip this one since im sure you can figure it out already *_* 16* Current desktop: some lame blue thing that came with my computer 17* Current worry: he'll stop having feelings for me 18* Current hate: ill skip this one too... 19* Current clothing: new shirt from fashionbug, jeans 20* Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex: hair 21* Last CD that you listened to: like- CD CD, um...... like all of...Patent Pending WEEKS ago, but song- RENT , just now, Finale B....good stuff 22* Favorite place to be: ill skip this one too :-/ arms of someone is usually a great place to be....... fine ill stop being sappy- The darkroom. ^_^ <333 23* Least favorite place: my house usually 24* Favorite sex position: no clue. im a virgin 25* If you could play an(other) instrument: drums or piano 26* Favorite color: pink. again... GODDD 27* Do you believe in an afterlife: reencarnation 28* How tall are you: 5'8/5'9 29* Current favorite word/saying: FANTASTIC! 31* Favorite book: The Things They Carried, Dont Call Them Ghosts 32* Favorite season: Early Fall , late winter 33* One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Bob. i miss him sometimes *FUTURE* 35* Where do you want to go for college? Narf, that's a silly question 36* What is your career going to be like: Fashion Illustrator if I fail at that, it's off to Library School 37* How many kids do you want? None *HAVE YOU EVER...* 39* Said "I love you" and meant it: Once to someones face, and i really THOUGHT i meant it.... then again, but not to someones face 40* Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird/fish, etc: um.. no 42* Been to Florida: Yea i was like 3 43* Been to California: Not yet! hahah this january ^_^ 44* Been to Hawaii: No 45* Been to Mexico: No 46* Been to China: No 48* Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: not CRAZY *RANDOM* 52* Do you have a crush on someone: Yes... good LORD must we continue to bring this up??? 53* What book are you reading now: I Started WAITING FOR SNOW IN HAVANAH about a week or so ago...... 5 pages. 54* Worst feeling in the world: knowing you like somebody who likes you back, but knowing you cant have them :-( 55* What is the first thing you think when you wake in the morning?: usually its I GOTTA PISS ( i drink a bottle of water before bed) 56* How many rings before you answer: 3 cuz thats when call-id picks up at home.... on my cell- 1 and then i see who it is lol 57* Future daughter's name: no idea for girls 58* Future son's name: Lucas and Dustin (NOT LUKE AND DUST/DUSTY) 59* Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: afew actually 60* If you could have any job you wanted what would it be? personal sex slave to Billy Joe Armstrong hahah..... nah just kidding um... photographing musicians 61* Someone you wish were here: okay ireally am going to stop answering these fucking questions 62* College plans: here till i get bored? 63* Piercings: 3 on left ear, 3 on right ear, cartlidge in right ear, and next weekend- TONGUE!! <3333 *THE EXTRA STUFF* 64* Do you do drugs: no 65* Do you drink: yes 67* What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use: Garnier Fructis 68* What are you most scared of: sex related things- like STD/Pregnancy... which is funny cuz im a virgin, and i think thats WHY im a virgin lol... and im petrified of being raped. 69* What clothes do you sleep in: i love sleeping in jeans honestly lol melanie, but usually just pajamas 70* Who is the last person that called you: mommy? 71* Who is the last person that you called: mommy? 72* Where do you want to get married: who cares 74* Who do you really hate: again i am leaving this out... how many double questions are there on here? 76* Are you timely or always late: early usually 77* Do you have a job: Not currently 78* Do you like being around people: most of the time, yes definately <3 79* Are you for world peace: Sure why not... i dont believe it will ever HAPPEN but im definately all FOR it 80* Are you a health freak: I drink, occasionally smoke, and im fat... what do you think? lol.... i dont sit and down pixistix and sugar sandwhiches wiht a coke tho, and ive recently started cutting back. 81* Do you have a "Type" of person you always go after: seems i always just go after teh WRONG ones.... is that a type? 82* Do you want someone you don't have? jaklfajk;jgkajkg;fjdakg;rejaigbhra;hgrieao;jgiajfkd;ajfidk;jk can we SKIP this 83* Are you lonely right now: see 82 84* Ever afraid you'll never get married: yes. 85* Do you want to get married: im not sure. 86* Do you want kids? NUHUH *IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...* 87* Cried: yes :-( 88* Bought Something: Yes 89* Gotten Sick: im always just sick..period 90* Sang: Yes 91* Said I Love You: to my dad but not likie I LOVE YOU 92* Wanted To Tell Someone You Loved them: 93* Met someone: no 94* Moved on: how about TRYING to move on? 95* Talked To Someone: Yes 96* Had A Serious Talk: Yes 97* Missed Someone: Yes 98* Hugged Someone: i hugged tim he didnt hug back 99* Yelled at someone: Yes 100* Dreamed About Someone You Can't Be With: afew times this week ... agjdka;gjeri;ahb;irehaibh;fajagfnj;rae well that was a long survey lol.

so i write poetry heres my most recent full title: Its funny how words have so many meanings" slowly i peel the clothing from my body with my clammy, trembling hand turns the water on as quivering lips breath in the steam i stand there stripped of feeling letting the water envelope me from head to toe like the things you said to me slowly increasing its temperature, scouring my skin in scalding water trying to get you off of me trying to wash your affection from my cheeks where you left it when you tasted my tears the night before trying so hard to make my lips separate from yours for what seemed like forever to get the taste of you off my tongue trying to erase the images of you and i and those late nights spent on the couch and saying goodbye at your car trembling in pain trying to heal the hole in my ear -it’s funny the way it mirrors the one in my heart... ironic how the one i wanted can heal and the one i had no choice is going to be here for awhile is it the passion in your kiss that makes me miss you? or the words from those lips that makes me want to kiss you? trying to get use to the negative space in which you use to lie

i guess lol. so for my first blog i guess ill recap the weekend And the Pickles!!!...Chicken Tenders...Sweet sauce all over my body.... I'm on the train watching dane cook on comedy central presents- kinda sad that i am not going to be going to Tourgasm since chris so nicely pointed out that i booked tickets for a day DC wasn't going to BE there....go fucking figure. So i cancelled the tickets and they only charged me the 5 bucks service charge or whatever, they didn't even keep the convenience checking, and the nice man Israel told me that normally they don’t do cancellations and returns however since they hadn’t printed the tickets or shipped them yet- this would be alright... I’m so glad, i was ready to cry last night when i realized what happened- i knew no one would still want their tickets after they found out DC wasn't coming, and angela was a total bitch and like OH FUCK THAT I don’t wanna go anymore, i was like WOW thanks...i love that Schi didn’t even care though hahahah...... so today was a bust. i expected Kat to come over at like 12 and she didn’t end up showing up until like 4... i was sad ‘cuz i was in a bad mood all day today and i hoped she would’ve come over early but nope. oh well tho cuz once she got here i felt a lot better- her and brian and i went out to Panera for dinner. we would’ve waited for chris but he never got back to me so i just assumed he wasn’t interested. he hasn’t talked much the last few days, i don’t know what happened... guess i’m losing my touch? oh well. So back to FIT I’m currently on the train, and i cant wait to get back honestly- i use to love coming home, but honestly its so overrated now... between the awful commute in and back which isnt even that long but its so tedious and so much effort is involved, and then getting home to a bunch of pissed off people, and friends who dont want to hang out, theres just no point.... at least at FIT i’m out almost every night. Next weekend however will be entirely different since ALL my friends will be home from college ^_^ and we will be partying it up for my 18th birthday and i can not wait ♥♥♥ Apparently fred will be in jersey all that weekend, and chris has some wedding or something, so they won’t be around to celebrate, but other than that i think everyone else is pretty much covered ^_^ Akilah will be in around 8 on friday, lisa will be in the city around 7 so ill be getting her. Theres actually a possibility that Mike will be in thursday night but i wont get to see him cuz i have class anyway...and then mel will be here at some point with Nikki but idk when, and Jon mattia is coming home that weekend too- so yeah things next weekend are gunna kick ass.. All the drama kids and all my friends are coming over till 11, then the drama kids are leaving and the big kids are gunna stay and drink and party it up and sleep over and things will be just like the old days ♥. They’re just the people i need to see right now, i know i wont be able to be sad or upset when they’re around. I wish i could realize how GREAT things are going for me right now, good friends, great school, great classes, great classmates, a new computer, a redone iPod, now all i need is a great boyfriend and I’ll be set, lol. english tomorrow is going to be boring as sin, i’m sure. i didnt do my charles manson report- i should probably go over my notes at some point.... stupid research paper. And i could have SWORN we had an essay due, but Nick and Joe claim that we in fact do not and that i made it up hahaha. Math should be fun too cuz we are doing arts and crafts- and math is ALWAYS fun anyway, i love getting to see Asian ^_^ and plus my math teacher > any other teacher ever, hahah. i still need to do my Binary homework but its too confusing and i cant concentrate enough on it right now.... i need something to help me focus. Blehhhhhhh. oooh J.E.W. just came on- :sing it back woahhhhhhhh: :i was spinnin free woahohohohaoh...: see- cant focus on a simple blog entry, nevermind a friggin homework assignment lol. I’m kinda getting worried about my Intro-photo double, he’s going to quiz us thursday and i dont want to do badly, i dont want him to think im slacking, i guess i will really sit down and read the book- I'm SURE it wouldn’t kill me to actually study, since we rarely EVER have to do that. i love artschool for the sole reason that i never have to do almost anything outside of the classroom except shop for supplies ^_^, and the occasional essay or paragraph or taresheet, but those arent too hard. its quarter to 7.... train gets in at 704.... i think ill work on a poem i started the other day, its been awhile since ive written anything worth reading, so why not. ttypl <333