Trust me, if you think your life is shitty, you are wrong. I can honestly say that my is worse than yours. I know what you're thinking. Probably something like "how do you know, you've never met me?" Well it's simple. My life is a day by day struggle to maintain the ridiculous amount of cynicism I have, which is the only thing keeping me going through the horrendous trials and tribulations I face on a daily basis that you could never understand. Just take my word at this. In spite of all that I'm actually the coolest motherfucker you'll ever fucking meet. It's true. So come one and come all, meet the man, the myth, the legend. No cover charge before seven and the ladies get in free.